[muse]: BAD GOTH POETRY

[coronaviridae]

Bleh. I wrote this late one night. It is NOT good poetry. It is, in fact, very bad. So do not read it. I'm just putting it here for posterity.

All my poetry is disgusting. :P


It was easier when you were missing
When I cried myself to sleep,
It was easier to imagine you were the same part of me,
And my life; that guiding hand and steady presence
That led and comforted me.

It was easier when you were missing,
For now that you're back, I find you don't fit
Into this hole you left in my life.
You aren't the same, and time and distance both
Have changed us into things we weren't ever meant to be.

It was easier when you weren't here,
When I kept myself alone.
It was easier to act and live by the course I'd always held,
A bachelor, a rogue who answered to no one but himself,
And maybe God, from time to time, when he betook himself to pray.

It was easier when you weren't here,
For now that you are with me, I find that you change
The merciless, cold parts I prided myself on.
You've changed my life, and love and depthless eyes
Consign me to a path I wasn't born to walk.

It was easier when you were faceless,
When I bought the world with words.
It was easier to pretend I was all that mattered,
A singular existence, solipsistic and unutterably vain,
Trusting only in himself to make the world right again.

It was easier when you were faceless,
For now that I've seen you smile, I know that this life
Isn't all about me, or meant to bend to me heel.
You made me look, and honor and charity both
Compell my hardened heart to reconsider cynicism, this once.

It was easier when you were godlike,
When I longed to hear your words,
It was easier to believe in your righteous immortality,
This idol we owed praises upon deeply bended knee
And who led with impartial hand.

It was easier when you were godlike,
For now you've stepped into my home, I have seen
Through the illusion of godhood that you are much like me.
You led me astray. And cold realism's touch
Informs me that my hopes were vain.

It was easier with distance,
When I believed myself aloof,
It was easier to live as if I were truly free,
Unfettered and unbound, alone to choose my way,
Not caring where my impartial justice was leaving mortal wounds.

It was easier with distance,
For now that I've lost my one remove, I find
That I am fettered, trapped, and drowning all alone.
You've stranded me here, and heart and tongue and mind
Have betrayed me into somewhere
          I was never meant to be.


muse

Comments

[roadtoenchilada.livejournal.com]

It's not bad! It's free verse!

There's a difference.

Really.

CEM